Today I did something which I never thought I would ever do. I blocked my best-friend on whatsapp. Today, he hurt me really bad. He said something which just broke my heart into pieces. I never thought he could say that for me. It’s not been such a long time since we became best-of-friends but today, I got to know what he actually thinks about me. He told me that, “Bt tu ek acchi frnd nhi bn paayi yr”, and the cherry on the cake, “Tu kisi ki prob hi nhi smjhti”.
I feel like hell right now. How could he say that? Those words didn’t bother me, but the fact that HE wrote them made my eyes wet. He was special, he was a close friend. I never wanted to loose him and such friendship but today, he made me realise my worth in his life, he made me realise the worth of our friendship. I won’t talk to him ever now.
I know I behave very childish and extremely stupid at times. I know I irritate him really bad, I hate it when he doesn’t talk to me and says ‘Bye’, everytime I message him. It’s not because I don’t understand his problems. I don’t do that with anybody else. Why can’t he understand, whenever I feel lonely, where should I go? Who should I talk to? When I want to talk to him, he’s busy. This makes me angry and I am helpless about it.
I know time has changed. Everyone is busy in their life and college, I know he has got assignments to complete, and coaching to attend and all that. It’s only my fault. I think I didn’t move on. I’m still a kid, and a stupid one seriously. I’m still an emotional fool who gets irritated on anything and everything. I am unable to accept these changes so easily.
It’s true that the people who are closest to you, hurt you the most. Proved today. I mean, is it wrong to expect something from friends? I guess it is. Because only this bloody expectation created havoc today. My anger and irritation everytime burst only upon him because I do expect a lot from him. I guess I am only behaving stupid. It’s high time, I should grow up now. The world doesn’t work according to my wishes. I should learn to accept things. I should learn to become heartless. I should stop irritating people now. They don’t want a stupid-desperate-irritated kid like me in their life. So I guess, I should only back off. This is the best I can do.