The thing is just that I get irritated so easily that you can’t even imagine. Mood swings are an indispensable part, seriously.. And the worst part is that most of the time, I am unable to figure out the reason behind. This is what actually kills me.
I should not worry about people, I know that, but I thought there was a group, a group of us, friends.. How can we stop anybody no? It’s their life. They are free to live it as they wish. Now my friends have started hanging out with other people..and that too a lot. I think the lunch is not gonna be fun anymore. I don’t have any right to stop them. It’s their life.
But it’s about me. I think I am never ever gonna adjust with the people in that group. I am never gonna be friends with any of them.. And I genuinely think that it’s not worth it. Damn..this issue is bloddy irritating me so hard, I don’t know why. Their issues, their way of thinking, every single thing differs. I am just not comfortable around them.
That’s why, today I resolved that I won’t change myself, my way of thinking, my ideas, my priorities or my principles just to fit into their so called “gang”. I dont wanna be a part.. We are just better off alone than to be in a bad company, I guess.. For me, my perceptions are very hard to change. Once I form an opinion about somebody, it’s difficult to change and then it hurts really bad if that person behaves otherwise.
So, what I wanted to convey was that yes, I am different. I am anti-social, shy, introvert, unfriendly, egoistic and yeah a lot more. I don’t talk to people, is it? I don’t cause I choose my friends my own way. I can’t be friendly with anybody and everybody just like that. Call it my weakness or my consciouness but making friends is not that easy for me. Friends mean a hell lot in life. How can I welcome any stranger to be a part? I am open to very very very few people. Only my real friends do know all sides of my personality. I dont wanna show that side of me to any anon. right now. Only that much is my clarification to this issue. It’s my choice to be myself rather than change for somebdy not even worth it. I am happy alone. I dont need a heck of anything to complete me. I can enjoy my own company. Thats it for now.