Damn, It’s so freakin’ Impossible.. :'(

Why always me? How do I explain my situation? It’s a pretty stupid life. I don’t know why it’s me who always goes wrong. Why is it always me who has to apologize for every single thing? I mean, apologising is not the problem. I am just unable to figure out why it’s only me all the freakin’ time.

The last few days have been a series of disasters. People around tend go be so damn rude. Inside I am just fighting, struggling to know what I am actually. I am just lost somewhere and I am unable to find myself. I am just not the usual me. What is changed? Have I changed? Why this sudden change? I am just jnable to know myself, how do I behave. Why do I always end up fighting with everyone? Why do I always ruin my and others mood every time?  Why the hell is it always like that?

My temper is one thing I find really hard to handle. Another thing which bursts out my anger is that mostly I don’t know the reason that makes me upset. I wasn’t like that before. Am I so irritating? Am I a burden to people? Do people find it hard to talk and deal with me? Am I becoming more of a Rude Girl? It’s not that I don’t try. I have been trying really hard to be nice, to create no nuisance, to be polite while conversing, but bloody hell, I just don’t get it in my head. What makes me cry is not that my friends failed to understand me, but it is that I myself couldn’t understand me.

I don’t know what is happening with me. I don’t know why I loose my temper all the time. I don’t know what makes me upset. I just know that I am not happy at all. I just hate people. I just bloody hate them. I don’t need anybody in my life. Friends have started backing off now. I am better off alone. If I am so irritating, I think I should stop talking to people. I can’t bear anything, I’ve got no justification of my behaviour. Just tired of being sorry. Close friendship is gonna suffer because of my stupid attitude. I don’t know, I don’t care about anything right now. What I need is simply Isolation. I need to come to terms with these drastic changes in my behaviour. Until I don’t understand my problem, how am I gonna explain it to anybody else. As of now, I’ve had much of this fucked up life of mine. Now need to be alone for a while.

#DazzlingTwilightFirefly

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: