The Unspoken!

“A book mysterious,
Cautiously sealed.
Her darkest secrets,
Carefully veiled.
Buried within,
The pages wretched,
Was the miserable truth,
Left unheard, unsaid!”

This day, three years back, my life was completely transformed. Do you realize, how we humans tend to remember those little things which happened years back. We tend to keep on rethinking and rethinking our mistakes, our shortcomings, failures and what not. Three years back, my 16-year-old self committed a mistake, a mistake which left me broken. I remember everything, every moment very precisely. And every time I think of it, my hatred for myself grows more and more intense.

It’s been years to the incident, yet I’m unable to drag myself out of the ‘Past‘. The flashback always leaves me shattered, pushes me down on a guilt trip. My soul cries, how could I be so stupid? How could I not have the mind to see through things? How could I lie to my own people! Every year, I spend this day exactly like this, cringing on my mistakes, hating those memories. I never had the guts to write this down or accept it to myself. I let this remain unspoken, buried in the heart. But, it only gives pain, nothing else.

Sixteen according to me, is wrongly called ‘Sweet-Sixteen’, it should better be ‘Stupid-Sixteen‘, cause people do act stupid at that age. Even I did. An innocent kid fell into a foul trap and was betrayed. The only mistake she did was to ‘Trust‘ people. She could never have imagined people in the outside world would be this bad! Hence, she lost trust in people, she lost trust in herself, her own people lost trust in her. And she still is unable to forgive herself for that one thing which she experienced, the veil of innocence being lifted off the wicked people. They are not humans, they are just Wolves in Sheep’s clothing.

This one incident left a deep imprint on her heart and mind. How it left her in guilt, regret and embarrassment for these years, how it hindered her already reserved self to sink deeper into herself and shut-off from the world, how it broke her self-confidence, how it broke her trust in people. How it made her question the entire concept of humanity!

This affected her emotionally and mentally too. Her grades dropped abruptly in her semester exams, she couldn’t focus on anything else. She could hear voices in her head which used to criticize her day and night. Her conscience even gave her an ‘Alert Signal’ that day, which she failed to understand, and this was the result. Till today, she is scared of people, she is scared of ‘Love’. She still thinks a thousand times before trusting someone, and yet she actually doesn’t trust ANYBODY completely.

Sometimes, I try to visualize what would I have been if this one day wasn’t a part of my life, would I have been more confident, more happy? But, unfortunately, what has happened cannot be changed. Someone has rightly said, “Everything happens for good”. I believe in the statement, this one incident taught me soo much.

I am more aware of people’s intentions, I won’t fall into traps anymore, I think 10000 times before trusting people, and I don’t need love in my life. I love my family more, I share things to them, I cherish them. My family is above everything else. And with time, I have found friends whom I feel proud to call Friends. Though, they’re only a few, I do believe that they would never betray me. I learnt that life’s a gift, we should appreciate every bit of it. And it is full of challenges that we should be ready to take, you never know what the next moment might bring to you. So, be prepared.

Though, I learnt my lessons the harder way, it was all worth it. And it takes a hell lot of courage to accept the worst mistake of your life as being ‘Worth-it‘ in the end. But, we’re all humans, humans tend to fall, but they get back up too. They wipe their tears, clean their bruises and start walking again. I wish to do the same. This is a heart-felt attempt to rise above all guilts, to forgive and forget and start afresh, start a new and beautiful life.

Life is never easy. And difficulties are fun. They add to your experiences, good or bad, you get to learn, you get to become more wise, you get to grow by throwing yourself into difficulties. Though, I have no idea of how one forgives himself, today, I declare, I won’t cling onto the past and will try my best to start a new life, a life with more difficulties, more experiences, more learnings, more growth, more positivity. The journey begins today!

What has happened has gone,
You can change nothing about it.
Just one incident cannot break you 
Stop regretting , just forget it.
Every day is a new ray of hope,
Every morning brings a fresh start.
Adversities only make you stronger,
Don’t think too much,
Just listen to your heart!”

-Firefly 🌟

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11 thoughts on “The Unspoken!

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  1. you are one of those few people who can give those tough thought a meaningful and positive energy that people can take a look at it whole other way😊Yes we do make a lot of bad decisions in our life that doesn’t mean every upcoming decisions may wrong.Life doesn’t always come with the luxury of having to go in a rightful manner,sometimes it throws in a path you don’t deserve to be in but it is all to make you harder for upcoming problems you might have to face.No matter what happens people should never give up on love coz it’s not the love that left,it’s the one they loved who walked out..This is one of your all time best blogging post chandni😊👌🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou so much Mr Stranger for such a beautiful comment of yours. It took a lot of courage to accept the past as a learning experience and move on.

      And you’re right, only because one decision goes wrong, doesn’t mean we should stop living! Every incident makes you stronger! Thankyou so much for the appreciation. 😇😇

      Like

  2. I loved this post! Keep up the spirit. You already know the answer. So nothing more to tell. If you can’t laugh at the same joke twice then why do you cry at the same incident of the past. Compared to happy moments of laugh, one bad incident is simply nothing. Its only you are letting the negativity take over you. Life is all about second chances. And remember, second chances are always better then the first ones. Because you value them much more. There you go girl! My woman of substance!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A comment from my Mana Didi! This is a beautiful surprise. And that too, this long comment, OMG! I remember everything you told me last time, you were the first one whom I confessed this to. You asked me to forgive myself as well as the people who hurt me. That time, I didn’t quite understand what that meant. But, I think I did it today. I feel lighter and happier. I think this is what it means to forgive yourself.

      It’s again a great pleasure to hear these words coming from you. Yes dii, I promise to you, I will become the Woman Of Substance. I’ll be the best. Thankyou dii, for again inspiring me. Your words mean a lot to me. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, my sister is of the same age now. And she is really stupid. This is not the thing to mention here but I believe in facing the truth and I believe that she only gets better with experience from her life so after knowing everything that she thinks I don’t know but I do. I do not share my experience or I do not try to protect her. I let her go fly on her own I just support her so that she could learn her own lessons of life and grow on her own.

    I never thought to write about this and I never will but I’ll make sure one day when my sister will be like you with her knowledge and experience, I’ll let her read your this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hii Shubham. I’d like to say, you are a Good Brother. What more does a sister want than her brother’s support in everything? And yes, everyone learns their lessons their own way. She’ll learn them too. But when she’ll fall, you’ll be there to guide her.

      And it’d be such an honour for me if I could help someone with my experience. Thankyou for your views, Shubham. I appreciate them. 😇

      Liked by 1 person

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