I need some Magic! -.-

A few days back, I was feeling quite low because I wasn’t able to write anything. It’s always during my exams that I am at my creative best, but this time, I am completely blank! And I am irritated, there was a time I used to write soo much, and today, I have literally nothing in my head except those stupid Laplace transforms and theorems and Power series and stuff huh! I need something creative, I need some MAGIC! 

It was then that this idea struck me:

“I believe there is some magic in everyone of us. All we need to do is to find it out and create wonders.”

And then, magically, all those characters from all the books I’ve read started to appear before me and agree with this one statement of mine. Colin used to say, “The magic is in me – It is in me.” Yes, even I want to feel that magic. If it was always there inside me, why did it never make an appearance till today? If it can cure little Colin, then why not me?

And as Emily says that she gets the “flash”, why is it that I am deprived of that feeling, that one feeling where you get a glimpse of the other world. Why do I never feel like ‘something’ is trying to speak through me when I write? It’s just plain and simple and uninteresting, why does that ‘something‘ not help me ever? Sometimes I even feel jealous of this girl huh, she writes beautifully and me! Huh! 🙁

Or as Naruto has the Nine Tailed Fox sealed inside him, I believe magic must be something like that. 😻 When he gets totally exhausted, all his ‘Chakra’ (the blue one) comes to an end, then he summons the Nine Tail’s power and the ‘Chakra’ becomes a deep fiery Red making whirls and swirls around him. That gives him a sudden rush of energy all over. Ohh that feeling, yes that is Magic!

What do I need to do to summon the magic that is hidden inside me? Bang my head against the wall? A tragic accident? Heartbreak? Silence? Introspection? What? I have always had voices talking to me, they give me answers but they never give me the Magic.

I have always felt like there is something more to me. Like I am not living upto what I expect, like I can be sooo much better. There is something which is hidden from my eyes. I feel like there’s a depth which I am unable to reach, I am only on the surface waters, oh I wish I knew how to swim! I wish I could dive deeper and deeper into the bottomless sea and find the hidden MAGIC! 🙁

Sometimes I feel like the soul is being caged in an alien exterior, like there’s no connection between the mind, body, heart and soul, the soul wants to rise, but the exterior restricts it. It’s a constant struggle, a constant contradiction! Sometimes when I look into the mirror, I keep staring and never relate to the reflection! I know the magic would cure this, it would give me the lost ME! ☺ I wish I find it very sooon.

Keep shining!
-Firefly 🌟