image

Dearest Me,

Today is a special day for you and for me. I do not know how to confront you. After all that I have done to you, I know, you must not be expecting me at all. But, whatever it is, we are still One! You are me and I am you. We have been together for as long as I can remember. You were there when I was learning to walk, when I wore that cute Nurse wala costume in Fancy Dress, when I did my first dance at school! You were there when I wrote my first poem, when I broke up with my best-friend, when I was deeply hurt to the core. You were there when I was scared to death on that dentist’s chair, when I fell from that scooty and hurt my knee, you were there when I made a CuteHeart friend πŸ’•, when I faced my biggest fears, when I laughed and laughed till my stomach hurt. You were there by my side all the time. Every night, you lay beside me, extending a friendly hand out to me. But I ignored you, your voice remained unheard to my ears. 

You know, I was always on a search for someone special, some person who would make me feel loved and strong, someone who would be just like me, someone who would stay by my side for a lifetime! I never realised that you needed someone too. I left you alone when you needed me the most. I left you to depend on other people’s love, to find some person who would care for you, when it was I who should’ve done that for you. Every moment, I tortured you mentally and emotionally, nobody does that even to their enemies. When you used to burst into tears, I wouldn’t even bother to wipe them and console you. I would just leave you like that. Whenever you felt vulnerable, I always blamed you for it, I kept telling you it’s all your fault. Everything was always your fault. I always questioned your behaviour. I told you that you don’t deserve anything good. I made you feel bad about yourself. I criticized you, I ridiculed you, I suppressed your dreams, I overlooked your feelings, I took you for granted. When you were trying to overcome your fears, it was me, who would drown you into your insecurities, I would make you realise that you are worth nothing, I would snatch away the last hint of hope from your eyes. I would make you feel like a complete looser. It’s all because of me that you are this way today, scared, and self conscious and pessimistic. It’s all because I did this to you. 

I was so selfish, I even considered making a Diary my friend, but not you. I pushed you down every moment. I used to think that if I ever had a friend, I would make them feel so special, so very special! I would do extraordinary things for them, to let them know that they are loved and important and cared for. But, it never occurred to me that you deserved to be loved too! I am deeply sorry, I feel so guilty for what I have been doing to you for the last 20 years. I have always suppressed you. All you ever wanted was a little love. I couldn’t even do that much for you. I was always looking for a glimpse of my soul in other people, but I never realised I would find it in you. It never occurred to me that you were a part of my soul too. That we were connected eternally. You knew me better than anyone else on Earth, ’cause you and I, we’ve seen life through the same eyes, we’ve been to every place together, we’ve felt every emotion together!

I should’ve hugged you tight and let you know how much I loved and appreciated you for all that you are. I should’ve told you how strong and beautiful and loving you really are. I should’ve defended and protected you from all the bad things,  I should’ve respected you and your emotions. I left you to silently accept whatever crap this world gave you, when you deserved to be loved unconditionally and infinitely! You deserved everything that you could ever think of. I should’ve told you that you are my Angel. You are my Hero, and I could never ever find someone exactly like you! Today, let me tell you what you need to know. You are worthy of everything in life. You deserve all the love and respect and care. You are beautiful. You are strong. You can handle everything on your own. I say, you are a very wise girl. Your decisions are always best for the both of us.

You do not need to change a bit for people to love you and accept you, remember I LOVE YOU just like you are. You are perfect with your imperfections. You are special in your own unique ways. You are not like anyone else. And you don’t need to be like anyone else. You are you, and you are special. The things that you do, make you different. Those things that make you stand out, don’t be ashamed of them. They are not your weakness, they are your power, embrace them, don’t discard them. Also, you don’t need to fight for anyone’s time/attention/love. Love cannot be demanded. If they love you, you will feel it in their actions. ❀ You and I, we are going to be together till our last breath. I promise to respect and cherish you. I promise to be a bestfriend to you. Remember, I am always there for you whenever you need me. And that’s a Firefly Promise! Together, we would be the best Fireflies! 🐝 Keep Shining like you always do!

Love,
Me.

Advertisements