Why do I write?

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Some days are particularly black. Days and nights pass on unnoticed, you just walk through life, wanting to feel something, anything! Be it sadness, anger, hatred, love, just anything that makes you feel alive again, something that makes you feel human again. You crave for some extreme pain to crush you down, some intense emotion to run all over you, to rip your heart, to pierce your soul, to possess you completely, just so you can finally have something to write on, just so you can feel that blazing fire within you again.

But nothing happens. You are caught in a loop of constant blankness. That is when you realise the fire ceased to burn, your heart stopped beating, only cold burnt ashes remain. The magic left you numb, with a heart that doesn’t beat anymore, with a face that doesn’t smile anymore, with a soul that has no purpose anymore, you’re as good as dead! This is how Writer’s Block feels to me.

When I was asked, Why do you write? I found this question so intriguing that I actually started thinking about why is it so important for me to write. What would happen if I am asked to stop writing for a few days? Writing is something I cannot just quit by choice. Though, I did give up in the last few weeks. But here I am again. A wind came passing by, which took away those ashes and reignited the spark in me, the passionate fire was set ablaze again, all set to burn everything around! πŸ˜›

These are my answers to “Why do I write?”

~For me, writing is happiness in its purest form. Right now, this moment is the happiest moment for me. I’ve struggled a lot with this in the past weeks. Pages remained blank, no matter how hard I wished to write. But today, watching this pen, dance across the paper, untamed, unrestricted, leaving inky footprints all along! I can feel the joy it feels, yay! It’s such a satisfying feeling. I would define Writing as ‘My kind of speaking‘. My mind is a chaotic place, it just cannot stay quiet. So, in that sense, I am quite a Chatterbox while writing!

~It has always been difficult for me to understand myself. Writing helps me analyse my emotions and thoughts. It helps calm the emotional storm within me. I have always loved rains. When words rain upon the paper, that is the best kind of rain, hahah! When someone asks me, “How do you feel?“, I have no idea what that means, it’s so confusing, and I cannot know how I feel unless I write it down. I am always complaining, “Nobody understands me!” How would they understand if I am myself unable to do that? Sometimes, I feel like an alien, writing things down in some foreign language, and then spending hours decoding what I meant when I wrote that! That is just how it works for me. πŸ˜›

~I feel lost most of the time. Everyone and everything seems to affect me, things drain me all the time. But when I write, I am in a different zone, it’s completely My Space, where no one else can accompany me. I walk into my world, and when I start writing, it feels like getting one step closer to my soul. I connect to myself in a unique, miraculous way. Writing unfolds my real self, I write to find myself somewhere in between my words, to catch a glimpse of me in them!

~Writing is my default mode. It’s just as important as eating, drinking, sleeping. It comes naturally. Some days, it comes like a sudden flash, when the right set of words collide with each other producing such hilarious amounts of energies, it enthralls me everytime. It’s a sudden urge, an ineffable rush to paint those pages colourful with poetry! And these times, I feel like something/someone else is trying to speak through me, something much greater and sacred.

Finally, Writing is everything to me. Each little cell that I am made of, smiles in delight when I write. I couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened if I hadn’t realised and embraced the writer within me. This was just meant to be. I feel alive today. The fading, ebbing fire that possessed this writer’s spirit has been rekindled, yay! This is ultimate pleasure for me. πŸ™‚

-Firefly 🐝

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29 thoughts on “Why do I write?

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  1. Very thanks to that “wind” that came by and reignited a fire in you that motivated you to write again, and you finally came up with this wonderful post.
    See how much you can write on just “Why do you write?”, then think how much can you actually write on things. Beautiful πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha, definitely. It’s been weeks that I wrote anything. But yay, thanks to the ‘Wind’. πŸ˜† It brought a storm of thoughts to me. Now I’ve got lots and lots of ideas brimming! I feel happppy. Thankyou Shreya. πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My dear Soniya, what you feel, i also feel the same but i dont have the words like you to express. l always feel that pen and paper are my best friends with whom i can talk anything, good or bad.. and get the right idea what is going inside me, which nobody else can do. My blessings are always with you. Keep writing like this and don’t worry about anything.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mummma! I am so happy to know your views. You have always been the biggest supporter since the day I started writing. I guess writing came to me, partially from you. ☺☺ You’ve always been there to listen to my incomplete drafts and suggest me ideas to improve. I am what I am because of your support. Love you Maa. πŸ’™

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m doing good too. Enjoying the last of the available free time before my PG classes start. What about you? I’ve missed you. Writer’s block is such a hard thing. It’s such a relief when it passes!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh nice nice. PG in what field? I have exams from 22nd. But as always, this Writing wala attack comes just before exams begin. πŸ˜‚ And yay, I missed you too. You’re one of the few people I really like talking to here. πŸ˜‡

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Ohhh all the best for your exams. Oh I have a writing frenzy just before and during the exams too. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ It’s a struggle – whether to write or study! I’m doing M.Tech in communication systems. πŸ™‚ Oh Chandni, it warms my heart – that comment. I really enjoy talking to you too. ❀😊 Take care, dear.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Mr Positive! I am so happy to find your comment on my blog, yayy! πŸ™†β˜Ί Hehe, Writer’s Block bhi darr gaya mujhse, see he flew away. πŸ˜‚ Thankyou so much huh. Glad you liked my post. πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohh, you read that too? All those stupidities and stuff. πŸ˜› Thankyou so much Ananya, I just want to hold onto the few beautiful people I am blessed with, hehe. It feels good to make them realise how important they are. πŸ’™β˜Ί

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Read your post for the first time… and i am so delighted to see how i was connected to lines you wrote… i can totally relate to it when it comes to writing! You are really like others said blessed with writing skills! Keep going girl!

    Liked by 1 person

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