The story of Paneer! :P

“Beta, guests will be here in an hour. Go and bring Paneer from the nearby Dairy. I have to prepare lunch.” This is what my Mumma said last week, and I was completely shocked and terrified by the thought. Immediately, my smile turned into a frown, my mind started overthinking at the speed of light. Everything was calm and peaceful a moment ago, and now, everything’s a disaster. OMG! Whyyyy! Just whyyyy! 😟

Guests are coming! That means I have to speak to them! And, I have to bring paneer, so I have to drive, what if the scooty stops midway? What if I have an accident? Also, I have to TALK to the shopkeeper, what if he asks me something, what if he doesn’t have Paneer? Do I know any other shops then? What if this happens, what if that happens etc etc. And, my mind is such a monster, it helped me further by presenting a complete visual of what all bad things can happen, I saw myself falling from the scooty, lying there unconscious, nobody coming to help me. Oh God, I was scared to death. πŸ˜†

Somewhere, I kept praying that it should rain, so that I am saved from doing this ‘Mission Impossible’. Or that the scooty doesn’t start somehow. Or that the guests call and say that they’re not coming, yayy! But, none of this happened. I kept lamenting for some 30 minutes about why these kind of difficult tasks are always given to me! πŸ™

Then, knowing there wasn’t anyone else in the house, I still said to her, “Mumma, I don’t want to go out. Please send someone else na.”Β I was literally crying and screaming in my head. Why me! Why me! Why meee! She read my expressions, and this is what she said. I didn’t know how to dodge this logic huh.
“Little girls these days drive around the entire city, and you never even step out of the house. How else will you learn then? Go out sometime, you will learn lots of new things.”

But, I don’t know, the thought of stepping out of the house alone is enough to scare me. I cannot function spontaneously like that. You need to tell me beforehand so that I am already prepared for what’s going to come next. Sudden changes scare me a lot. Do din pehle se bataa ke rakhho na mujhe ki Paneer leke aana hai Sunday ko. 😹

Then, whatever, unwillingly, I did what she said, and yes, everything went well. I brought the Paneer, I didn’t fall, it didn’t rain too. πŸ˜‚ I was so happy at my achievement! And I even spoke well to the guests. So, that day, I was just so confused why my mind always says NO to everything, why does it complicate things and gets more focused on the negative side, even when they are very easy tasks.

For example, if I have an exam tomorrow, I would have a box full of pens, cause what if some of those pens ditch me huh? I don’t want to ask anyone else to help me out. 😹 So, I carry an extraaa of everything everywhere. It just makes me anxious to find myself in a helpless condition. And asking someone for help is so difficult, embarrassing mostly. πŸ˜›

I don’t know what this is, or why this happens, but, it just feels like some kind of insecurity or fear. I want to be prepared for everything. My mind always looks for the worst that could happen to me in any condition, and makes plans accordingly. I cannot bear to find myself in a vulnerable condition. Being prepared is good, yet, I am still learning to focus on the positive side of things.

Has anything like this ever happened to you, where something scared you to death, but you still gathered all your courage and did it? Do share in the comments section. Thankyou!

-Firefly πŸ€“


12 Comments Add yours

  1. It happens at times, we are over conscious, like as you said about exams, we carry extra pens (me along with refills tooπŸ˜„πŸ˜œ). And that’s quite normal. 😁

    But thinking so much to get paneer and driving scooty. Lazy chandni!! Not good. 😱
    Haha. You need to live with me for some time, I’ll change you and make you stand before your mum. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, samepinch! And it’s not about laziness naa. Lazy toh mai waise bhi hu. πŸ˜† It’s about stressing over every little thing. Haan, good idea. Mai aati hu aapke sath rehne fir. Thankyou Shreyaaaa! πŸ’™πŸ˜Ή

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Heheh.. Dont take much stress on little things. As life goes on, you’ll get hard things to stress. Take care

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Hehe. Haanji. You take care tooo. ☺☺

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A childhood reaction and lovely post!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rohit Nag says:

    Hahahahaha first of all a big wwwaaaaahhhhhhhh for such a beautiful and realistic post 😍😍 from paneer to pens, i guess everything happens with everyone 😎 and how u penned that real life scenario is amazing 😜 aur ha scooty bech dijeye 🀣🀣🀣 i m ready to buy πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ scooty se girne ka dar b khtm ho jayega 🀣🀣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG! Your comment made me laugh, Rohit. 😹😹 Such a cute comment huh. Thankyou soo much for reading my silly experiences. πŸ’™ I have yet to read your poems. Will read as soon as exams end. ☺☺ And thankyouu!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Rohit Nag says:

      I truly loved that 😍😍 ohhh exam exam exam……all the best dear πŸ‘πŸ»

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Haha, yayy! Thankyou Rohit. πŸ™†β˜Ί

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey hey!! It was well written! Real life things! Humorous and loved it. Buy a bicycle, scooty ka dar hi khatm πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou so much. 😊 Haha, consider kar sakte hain is bicycle wali baat ko! πŸ˜†


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