Hello readers, how’re you all? Welcome to FIREFLY presents KUCHH BATAO NAA (Season 2), an Interview Series in association with AWESOMENGERS. Today we have with us, Mr Tanmay Sarkar. You all must already be knowing him! :D
Talking to him was a very beautiful experience. I would cherish this experience forever. During the interview, we discussed everything about his life, ranging from his childhood, memories, those Sanskrit exams 😹, his principles in life, relationships, his family, his fears and lots of other stuff. I just loved all of his answers. I hope you would love them tooo. So, presenting, Tanmay Sarkar! ☺
*Kuchh Batao Naa, Tanmay*
Q1. Can you tell something about yourself to our readers?
Haha, trust me, this question is one of the toughest question out there. Most people can tell you about everything: left, right center, but would stammer before telling about themselves. Well, I am not going to stammer or think much before telling about myself cause there’s ain’t much to tell.
~I am a very straightforward, honest, rude, erratic person. (also add egoistic) Ego about what? Don’t know.
~I keep exploring myself everyday. Yes I do. I learn from myself everyday. Everyone should. So, as of today, I know only bits and parts of myself. But but but! I would like to add few things which I am really sure about myself.
~I am a hardcore romantic person. I love LOVE. I am a very emotional person. Not sentimental, but emotional.
~I am very close to being what people call an Ambivert.
~I am a Grammar Nazi. And I absolutely hate over smart people.
~I am very sarcastic in nature. So that’s why I go by the name Sarkarsm (sarcasm).
~I am doing stage shows since I was in class 1. Debates, dramas, extempore, standups, skits and everything. I wanted to be an actor. I am a damn good speaker, and a champion debater. That’s why I am very confident. I don’t have stage fear. Yes, I know whenever I still go to the stage my knees shake, and heart beats, as if it will come out of my chest! But I can handle that and speak confidently, anywhere, anytime.
~I love to procrastinate things.
~And I am a very organised person.
~I have trouble smiling and sharing stuff. I may know everything about you, but you would never know anything about me. That kind of a person I am.
~I don’t make much friends, nor I have a large group of friends. I am quite a loner kind of a guy.
~Working in an IT organisation, as a software engineer.
~And yeah, I am the best at persuading people and reading their mind. Observing everyone is my favourite hobby.
~I forgot to tell you something. I am a lazyass. And yeah, also a smartass. But still an ass! 😂
~I prefer staying at my place and just being busy with my laptop. There’s a lot to explore in web. No, I am not talking about porn. Other stuff. Good stuff. Read. Watch. Learn. I can 365*24*7 be engaged with my laptop and won’t care about the world. I just need a good internet connection and a gadget to browse. And I am done!
~As I am bong, I love food. I am a foodie. I know, my lean body structure doesn’t support my words. But trust me, I eat a lot. Freakishly lot. Just throw a non-veg dish at me, and I am happy.
~And just because I don’t talk much or smile much or I am an honest lad, people misunderstand me for being an arrogant bastard (which I am). 😂 But I am one of the kindest soul you’ll ever meet. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Q2. Tell us something about your Blogging journey. How did you choose your blog name? Does it signify something?
Blog.. hmm.. I go by the name TheInveterateIndulgent. So my blog name is an amalgamation of three words:
The: I don’t need to tell you about this. It’s an article. Read grammar book for better understanding. Thanks. 😝
Inveterate: This means something which is deep rooted or ingrained.
Indulgent: Someone who is forgiving, kind or compassionate.
So, this combination was the closest I could get to what I actually am. I am a person who can never stop being kind, compassionate or forgiving. No matter what. Period. It’s deeply ingrained.
Oh it’s 11:11. Wait, let me think about my crush. 😂😍
So, that’s my alias or pen name for my blog. I took some days for thinking about what to name my blog. Well, very honestly speaking,
I don’t think I am a good writer. I am a so so writer.
A writer is someone who can hit the right strings in your heart with just few words. A writer is someone who can write thoughts as deep as an ocean. I don’t and can’t do any of the same.
I write because all through my life I have had to struggle to get my feelings and emotions out to someone. It’s not that I don’t want to share or that I am a cold person. But everytime I have felt that I should talk my heart out, I have observed that the closest of my pals aren’t there for me, for whom I would I have left the world.
I write because I need to get things off my chest. I too am a human being. I write for nobody else but me. And that’s why I don’t care about followers or what I am gonna post. I only write something which is somehow directly or indirectly related to me Not using any tough words. Keeping it very simple. I am also a show off! 😈
Let me tell you something. No matter what a writer writes, it is always connected to them. Somehow. It has to. Nothing is fiction. Every story has a story behind it. You can create a fiction, but the base would come from something which is related to you. Something you saw, or read, or felt. But it’s you in the end. And then you can use your skills to just fabricate a story around that thought.
I started blogging cause I was going through a rough patch. And it became a necessity at that moment to start writing. I never knew I would ever get such a great response and I would get to know such brilliant writers and lovely people. While I was spending some fair amount of time on WordPress, I have read some mind blowing and extremely brilliant pieces of writing. Sadly, now my work life doesn’t allow me to write. And that’s why my post occurrences have become extremely rare.
Also there is one more reason. A major reason. I only write when I am sad, or depressed. That’s why I can actually feel the emotions and I can actually string words together to craft something good. It has to be perfect. That gold touch should be there.
Only sadness makes me do that. So the major reason I don’t write now, is cause I am quite engrossed to get sad now. Life is good. Kinda happy, not giving shit! So, no thoughts or content to write. But, that doesn’t mean I would stop writing. I would write. I love writing. But I need time. I’ll start posting more soon, but it’ll take some time. New job so I am settling in.
Now, why I only write tiny tales
And not poems or proses. Cause I AM FUCKING LAZY. 😂 I don’t have time to compose a poem, or write a prose. I have tried both. And the end result was exceptionally good.
But but but! Only I know how many days and nights I have spent thinking of the right words, and the right rhythm to make every line perfect.
Q3. What phobias have you struggled with?
Ummm.. Nyctophobia, fear of the dark. I don’t struggle with it much, but I find myself very uncomfortable when it’s dark. I’ll slip in a funny secret. I start singing when it’s pitch dark, or I say “kaun haiiii“, as if a monster will respond. 😂😂😂 See, I don’t have the fear of ghosts. It’s just in my mind that darkness has a touch of something creepy, or devilish, or something which is uncomfortable. That eerie feeling! Something sinister.
I also have a fear of fast rides or uncomfortable rides, cause I have a little bit of motion sickness. I tend to have a pukish feeling if a ride is too complicated. So I avoid tough or dangerous looking rides. I also don’t want to make a fool of myself infront of the pretty ladies who come to amusement parks. 😂😂😂
I am a big fan of Rollercoasters. Or I love to spend my time at the water park. I love being at water since my childhood. This can also be because I have a water zodiac sign- ‘Cancer‘. I find water parks more attractive and amusing.
Q4. On a scale of 1-10, how sensitive a person are you?
I would say 9. But it really depends on what’s getting into my head. I may care about it a lot and feel it deeply. Or I may just not give a shit about it. The only thing is, I don’t show my feelings. But I am really very sensitive. Things which won’t even matter to you can hurt me for ages. I may hold it for years to come. I have a tendency to take most of the things seriously. I may get offended for a silly thing, and not feel a single thing for something huge being said to me. So, I am a mess, a contradicting person. I don’t know how I may react to what! 😂
Q5. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received and savored?
I used to love a girl. I will not get into much details here, cause it’s long gone now. It was one sided. She loved someone else. She once told me after seeing my unconditional love and my undivided attention to her, that she learnt from me how to actually love someone without any conditions. How to everyday listen to her talk about someone else and still smile. How to die everyday just to see her live! 😁
Q6. How close are you to your family?
I’m close. Pretty close to them, cause I’m a single child. I don’t have siblings. So that pretty much explains my closeness to my parents. They are solely dependent on me. I am solely dependent on them. But when you grow up as the only child in your home without any one else other than your parents to lean on, like a big sister or a big brother figure, or even younger ones, when you don’t have any confidante, you start keeping things to yourself.
This has actually happened in my life. You don’t share much, you don’t talk much about stuffs. But I share a very healthy relation with my parents. I used to be a ‘Mumma’s boy‘ till very late in my life. I have been pampered a lot. So yeah, it’s incredibly good and strong. Just that I don’t share much. I was a happy child. When you are a child, you don’t even know what lonely means! Teenage is what fucks you up. When you slowly start to understand the reality of life and people around you, that’s when you someday realise it might have been better if you had a sibling.
Q7. What’s the one regret that you live with?
Here I would give you a one cliché answer, but it’s true. I don’t live with regrets. I may feel bad about what I did. But I have this tendency of making the same mistake again and again, and then learning from it. I don’t have any regrets because at one point I exactly wanted that, which might have hurt me later. But at one point it was something I was connected to.
So I can’t regret after it has not led me to what I actually wanted to get from it. It made me what I am today. Every mistake, every wrong decision, every wrong turn or step has made me what I am today, and given me immense strength to fight and survive. It gave me enough knowledge and understanding about how things work and what people actually mean and feel.
Q8. Did you ever cheat on a school exam? Describe the situation.
Yeah, I used to. In every Sanskrit exam. Only Sanskrit. I used to be good in academics, very good I must say. I used to be in toppers. But Sanskrit my friend, is no my cup of tea, coffee, alcohol or anything! I used to take chits for Sanskrit. And the irony is, my Sanskrit teacher used to always think that I am damn good in Sanskrit.
But I had one rule. I never used to ask for answer to anyone in the exam. I would fail but I won’t ask. I used to help, but never took help. Never. As I already mentioned, I am an egoistic bastard. So cheating was only done using chits and only for Sanskrit! 😂😂😂
Q9. Do you follow any fundamental life values? What are the things that you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances?
I don’t lie, mostly. I would be lying if I say that I never lie. But 90% of the times, I don’t. I don’t believe in pleasing anyone. I prefer honest truth. That’s why I am brutally honest. That’s what makes me an erratic insensitive bastard, cause I say what I feel. I don’t mix up things, I don’t butter, I just speak truth. Honest truth.
Also I try to be kind at all times. I may at first refuse to help someone. But I will. I may whine about it, I may not respond properly, but I will end up being there for someone who needs me. Even now, my exes who said bad things to me, or with whom I had rough patches, I am there for them if they need. Not only with exes, also with friends who are not friends anymore. I am one of the rudest kindest person you’ll ever meet. I feel like everyone should be kind and be there for the one who needs help, cause I know how it feels when someone is not.
Also I am very punctual on a serious note. Any meeting, or date, or call, I am on time. Always. I reach the spot 5 minutes before time. I am rarely late, very rare. Once in a blue moon! Bangalore traffic tests my patience and I reach at places late nowadays. But, usually I don’t get late. I do it not cause I care for someone’s else time, but because I care for my time. I am like jaldi jao and jaldi aao!
Q10. In relationships, are you more often the “heartbreaker” or the “heartbroken”? Why?
Heartbroken. I don’t think I would be the right person to answer the why part. In most of my relations, my partners have gone cold feet as soon as the relation got a little older. Why? Well, I don’t know. Maybe cause I give a fuck. I have a habit, a bad habit though. I don’t get angry on my close ones. I try to calm myself down anyhow. No matter what the person might have done, I am somehow kind to them.
I am still in contact with all of my exes. Sometimes, I have also helped them in their needs even after they have been completely rude to me at some point. I am left behind cause maybe I am too loving, or too caring, or too possessive. Here ‘too’ can be replaced with ‘a lot’. A big lot!
It doesn’t matter who the person is or what they did to you. You have to be kind, always. Period. You can’t afford to be like them. Many people associate this with loss of self respect, but it has got nothing to do with self respect. You don’t lower down your self respect by being kind to someone.
Q11. Who is the closest friend you’ve ever had? Describe the relationship.
Oh, she is my current best friend. And she would be my best friend always, as I don’t have many friends. She is the one friend who knows everything about me. Left right and Center. I tell her everything. She tells me everything. If I start describing our relationship, neither I will be able to find the exact words to do that, nor it will be justice to our bond. Cause bonds like this aren’t meant to be described. These are meant to be felt and lived. We love each other but we are not Dating. We fight, we argue but we are not siblings. We stand there for each other but we are not relatives. We are a family, a family of two. And that’s how every best friendship should be.
We may not talk or meet for days, but nothing changes. Once we meet, we pour out every minute detail and story and episode that happened in our life. Every pic, doesn’t matter good or bad, is shared. We connect well because we think the same. We love the same things. I have always felt that ‘opposites attract‘ theory is wrong. And that’s why we are together, cause we are same. We are better halves, best halves. This theory, I believe, is the best. I rest my case here. 😂
Q12. In what area of life are you immature?
Well, I’ll say I’m pretty immature in relationships. Or any relation where something more than friendship is concerned. I always end up doing mistakes in these kind of bonds. I end up getting hurt, always. My big, kind heart is one of the major reason that I do this. But then I curse myself for lowering down my self esteem everytime, for doing anything and everything for people who won’t even cross the road for me if it doesn’t serve their purpose.
I also feel that somewhere I should let lose a little that I hold more tightly. I am always available, and that’s how I lose my significance in others life. They think that this guy will always be here, no matter what we say or do. This guy won’t get angry, and blah blah. So this is where my maturity goes for a toss.
But okay, that’s how I am. It will be hard for me to change now. But, I am slowly changing, trying to build up a good will power. To sometimes just not give a shit about it. For once just live for myself, and not anybody else. Even if I have to be alone for that, I’ll be. You can’t keep killing yourself to save someone else. You gotta know when to stop. You gotta know whether the other person also cares enough or not. You should know that whatever you do is being respected, not used. It’s being worthwhile for them. Your feelings your efforts must be respected, honoured.
Q13. Did a sibling or childhood peer ever tease or torment you? Share the details. 😂
I don’t have any siblings, cause I am a single child. But yeah, my cousin brother once got me into trouble. I was small. I don’t know the age, maybe 4 or 5. So, we were at my maternal great grandmother’s place. Now, she used to collect small animal figures, cups and plates, which were ceramic made. My bro broke one of the sets of horse figure she had and said that I broke it.
I got yelling for long, and we all used to fear her. I couldn’t say I didn’t cause I was very small to argue about it. But I knew who did it. My mom supported me. We knew who did. Well, after my crying session, he accepted he did. But he didn’t get the same scolding. It’s been around 18-19 years to that story, but that grudge is still there.
Q14. What according to you, is the difference between ego and self respect?
See, Ego is when you only think of yourself, and not others. When you don’t think before hurting someone just for your own pride. Self respect is not about pride. It’s about what makes you respect yourself. It’s about whether you will let someone question your dignity. It’s about if someone can get into your skin, and how do you respond to it. There is one beautiful quote on this:
“There is slight difference between ego and self respect, which makes difference between worst and best.”
Self respect is a very kinder version of ego. Ego is all about establishing your significance or superiority, wanting to prove yourself better than anyone always. Self respect is about maintaining your confidence and a boundary when someone is treating you unfairly.
Q15. Do you say “goodbye” quickly, slowly or not at all? Why?
Hahah, well, I don’t say goodbyes. I have trouble saying that. An absolute closure from my end is not possible. I hate saying goodbyes. I have never said that to anyone. The people who have said that to me, have somehow again come back to talk, or for help. Goodbyes are hard, very hard.
Can’t be explained in words. Goodbyes kill every hope. Goodbyes should not be said. But at the same time, sometimes goodbye is the only way!
Also, there’s something that Tanmay asked me to share in this interview. It is his heartfelt dedication to someone who he loved dearly. Here it goes:
“I still can’t entirely fathom this fact that Chester has passed away. I can’t type anything because of two major reasons.
A. What exactly can you write for a person who has been with you throughout your childhood and the years when you were growing up and even today. Who introduced you to the kind of music and class of songs, which you will never be able to come out of. Every word will fall short. 😔
B. I don’t precisely know how to react when your favorite singer just passes away one random day, that too cause of depression. Sad. Extremely Sad. 😔
One more thing which makes me terribly sad and hits in my stomach badly that I always, with all my heart, just wanted to attend Linkin Park’s concert once in my life. Which is clearly not going to happen now. So that’s going to be in my bucket list. Unstriked. Always. :( Here’s to the guy who saved me and millions with his music and his voice but couldn’t save himself. 😢
I really really hope that wherever you are and wherever that is, it’s peaceful there.
In The END, It Does Matter. 🙁
*🌟 FIREFLY’S COMMENTS🌟*
Talking to this guy was an amazing experience. I got to learn lots of things from him. The kind of maturity he has, I don’t think a lot of people have that kind of wisdom. He has a voice, an opinion of his own. That is what was the most attractive thing about him. His thoughts influenced me and provided me a different perspective about life and other things. Yes, I was a bit jealous too. 😂 Because he knows himself so well, and I am trying to do that too, but seeing him speak so much and so well about himself made me a bit jealous. 😆 Anyways, it was a very very beautiful experience. Thankyou so much Tanmay! ☺